Pretending I Help, Part II

 honesty, me giving advice, pretending i help  No Responses »
Sep 132011
 
Pretending I Help, Part II

Callers have told me that I have helped them, most often by helping them fall asleep after they climax. As someone who is genuinely, deeply concerned about sleep-deprivation for many of my friends and loved ones, I value “phone sex as a sleep aid” more than most people probably do, and I’m happy to help in that way. But back in late 2010 / early 2011, I was active on reddit for a while. I had to quit; it ended up being too dizzying to keep up with the amount of scrolling required. But I enjoyed reading people’s questions, and offering pithy and/or amusing answers, imagining that one day I could develop a following and become the phone-sex-girl equivalent of Dan Savage (gay male sex [read more...]

Tell Me You Love Me

 love, lust, manipulation, what I want, words, writing  6 Responses »
Sep 062011
 
Tell Me You Love Me

I just realized, just this moment, that there is a phrase I utter in my fantasies, in my mind, all the time, that I can hear echoing in my head as the prelude to almost any self-arousal, and as an essential part of any masturbation, but I have never uttered it during phone sex: tell me you love me Late at night, when I start getting sleepy and snuggly, and I take a deep breath and listen to my body, those words echo through my mind before I know where they will lead, but they set the stage. tell me you love me I worry about being manipulative, even though I know sometimes I am, by the nature of the business. But I have lines [read more...]

The Cat Came Back

 heartbreak, manipulation, subbing  No Responses »
Aug 172011
 
The Cat Came Back

September 12, 2010 – almost a year ago – was the last I heard of Inception guy from my Heartbreak II post. Eleven months later, on August 12, 2011, he called me again. So much has changed with my internal landscape. When he found me last year, I was just starting out. I was learning my limits. I was expanding my horizons. I was exploring undiscovered countries in myself, boldly going with callers where no man had gone before, time and time and time again. And now, while I don’t feel jaded, with hundreds more hours of phone time under my belt, I do feel prepared, educated, and perhaps a bit better equipped to care for myself. During the year, I had found him on [read more...]

Sugar Daddy Musings

 my lovers, my way, values, whore, whore vs slut  No Responses »
Jul 012011
 

In theory, developing an in-person relationship with a new lover with Sugar Daddy energy would be perfect for me. My husband and I are openly non-monogamous, he often travels for work, and I have bills to pay and love to share. So earlier this week, I found a few “dating” sites specifically designed for Sugar Daddies/Mommas to find Sugar Babies (also of both sexes – hooray for GLBTQ progress) and signed up for the two with the most interesting combination of features. After a brief flurry of activity, this letter arrived in my brain: Dear Galiana in 2011, Remember when you developed a fantastic long-distance BDSM relationship with a Dom over about six months, met him in person, it was awesome, then tried to quickly [read more...]

Heartbreak and Phone Sex, Part VI

 disability, heartbreak, honesty, issues, limits, phone sex, PSO issues, vertigo  No Responses »
Apr 082011
 

This time, the heartbreak is for me. As I’ve explained vaguely elsewhere on the blog, I have mysterious neurological vertigo which makes me feel drunk all the time. And every now and then, it causes other glitches as well, as if my brain’s electrical systems got fried: I mix up words, I can’t finish a sentence, or writing no longer translates into words. Or, in extremely rare cases of extraordinary exhaustion and vertigo combined, I have little episodes where I don’t make sense for a few seconds, as if I’ve drifted into another reality, and I hallucinate a bit, as if I haven’t slept for days. The basic theory behind my vertigo is that my neurons in part of my brain aren’t recharging fast enough, [read more...]

Heartbreak and Phone Sex, Part V

 disability, favorite stories, heartbreak, issues, phone sex  No Responses »
Feb 032011
 

He found my blog, then my Facebook, and asked if we could do pay-to-view emails instead of phone calls, to help him get to know me first, and because his funds were limited. I’ve been in a writing mood lately, so it seemed like a good fit: I could write, and productively fill time between calls with guaranteed income. I told him not to expect immediate turnarounds, but I was in. His first email described me giving him a back rub, encouraging him, and then sucking him off before he fell asleep, neglecting his promise to go down on me, overwhelmed by sheer bliss. He wanted my reply to be me, the next morning, helping him make good on his promise by showing him exactly [read more...]

Heartbreak and Phone Sex, Part IV

 favorite stories, heartbreak, love, phone sex, technosexual  4 Responses »
Jan 222011
 

He found me through Fembot Central, on the recommendation of my first robot caller. We exchanged a few insightful emails about the nature of android fantasies, the immense variety among practitioners in the fetish, and the specifics that he preferred. His core fetish is about the reveal, in his words, the “sudden lurch into the artificial”. That last phrase illustrates what I’ve found so far in my recent immersion into the community of technosexuals: thoughtful communication, vivid imaginations and rich vocabularies. When I think of the stereotype of men with a robot fetish, I think about Warren and Andrew and Johnathan in season six of Buffy: socially inept basement dwellers with delusions of grandeur and massive latent rage at being so misunderstood. And, y’know, some [read more...]

Heartbreak and Phone Sex, Part III

 heartbreak, other PSOs, phone sex, PSO issues  9 Responses »
Oct 192010
 

Part I was about a first -time caller who captured my concern. Part II was about a regular caller who may have been a two-way addiction. Part III, today’s blog, is about my co-workers, other phone sex operators (PSOs). I had a new caller over the weekend, we’ll call him “Evanston Crush” because he lived part of his life in Evanston, where I went to college (Go Cats!). He’d been reading my blog for two weeks, trying to resist calling me because he didn’t want to know if the persona in his head was different than the reality (which I find endearing and flattering). We had a really sexy call: he asked me about my open marriage, how I pick lovers, how I’ve explored to  [read more...]

What I Want: Lust for Me

 favorite stories, lust, phone sex, what I want  No Responses »
Oct 032010
 

Welcome to the third episode in the narcissistic “What I Want” series. First, honesty. Second, a vivid imagination. Third, today’s installment: Lust for Me. I mean, as long as I’m being narcissistic, I might as well go all out, right? This week I’ve had fewer calls (as expected after so much time off Sept 16-25), but some calls I’ve gotten have been lovely, luscious, lingering, longer conversations, which I have enjoyed tremendously. I do limit certain types of intense calls to just an hour, as I explained in this blog post, but the ones this week have had periods of intensity mixed with meandering relaxation, so I’ve managed to keep afloat and keep going quite happily. I thought about these enjoyable calls, and how to [read more...]

Pretending I Help

 favorite stories, phone sex, pretending i help  1 Response »
Sep 282010
 

I am not a psychotherapist. I like to pretend I help people anyway. I feel like I’m in the bartender / hairdresser / massage therapist realm of helping people. It’s not my primary job, but sometimes it accidentally happens anyway, in the natural process of callers sharing their life, and me responding to it. “Doc Cupid” called today, for the first time in weeks (I wrote about him in my most popular post ever, here). When he had called before, he had sounded sad about the lack of intelligent women in his town, and his prospects for dates. I had recommended OKCupid.com (not making money off them, I swear, I just love their data-heavy blog and philosophy of free services), and that he go to a [read more...]

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