Becoming a Kinky Presenter

 attention whore, aural, BDSM, kinkster, me giving advice, phone sex  No Responses »
Apr 302013
 

Did I happen to mention that I was a presenter at Beat Me in St Louis in March? The class was “Phone Sex and Distance BDSM”. The way I got the gig was to write the organizers and say approximately “I’m willing to present free if you need an awkward slot filled.” Saturday morning 9 am after a late dungeon party? You betcha! So I put together a list of classes I’m willing to teach. I’m sure I’ll be updating it, but I wanted to remember how it started. * Distance BDSM and Phone Sex * Kinky Ice Breaker Game: “Choose An Offer” * Hosting Play Parties * Basic BDSM Safety & Negotiations 1. Distance BDSM and Phone Sex – sharing my experiences, ideas, mistakes, [read more...]

The Beauty of Submissive Men

 BDSM, honesty, subbing  1 Response »
Jul 302012
 

First, Ferns asked for a very special birthday present in a blog post, “The beauty of submissive men” – she wanted photos of submissive men. She asked for diversity and truth. She got both. Because the resulting video can’t be played on my iPhone or iPad, I didn’t see it until after I read this blog post by the ever-articulate submissive Tomio Black, “Unexpected beauty“, which made me cry and cry. Then I finally saw the resulting video, hours later, here: “Submissive men: A celebration of beauty“. I love it with all my heart. Bravo Ferns. And happy birthday, Mistress. If you’re as happily moved as I am, please pass this on as many times as you can (this blog posts, or just direct links [read more...]

Real-Time Service

 BDSM, control, cross-dressing, lingerie, my lovers, teasing, topping  No Responses »
Jun 262012
 

I was so deeply moved by my time with teddybearslave today. This blog post is likely to be poorly structured at best, and completely incomprehensible at worst, but I need to get my tumble of thoughts out of my brain into some place where I can see them again and remember what I feel like right this moment. I’m so cautious interpersonally, in some ways. It’s a crazy statement from someone whose husband’s girlfriend lives with us, who has an in-person lover locally and another long-distance. I can see that. And yet, on Friday night, when I tagged in to substitute in a play scene with my husband and another local couple, I stopped myself from kissing her, taking off my clothing, licking her, blowing [read more...]

Summer Solstice Kaboom

 BDSM, control, cross-dressing, denial, my lovers, subbing, topping  No Responses »
Jun 232012
 
Summer Solstice Kaboom

I wrote to my lover yesterday, “So apparently I’m having a little explosion of energy at the moment. Happy Summer Solstice… Here’s a potential new lover and a potential new submissive. Kaboom.” The rest of this blog post is the Galiana-length version of that unusually-well-summarized paragraph. Although I’m not primarily pagan, I do enjoy recognizing seasonal celebrations, and taking the opportunity to examine my life and its cyclical patterns. Summer Solstice is a time to remember the tending and waiting and watering of prior seasons, and to celebrate new growth. I think it’s obvious from my recent upward trend of blogging volume that I’m feeling a bit better than I was March-May. I worked hard to heal my back from its injury, which is finally [read more...]

Retro Picture Sets

 BDSM, boobs, lingerie, pics, pictures, stockings, strapon, topping, toys  2 Responses »
May 092012
 
Retro Picture Sets

As I explained in this post from December, I had a photo shoot that went extremely well, and I’m finally posting the results for sale. My local BDSM and kinkster communities have an amazing treasure in a gentleman named Sir Wallter. He’s not only a devoted student and teacher of high-protocol domination and submission, and a master bondage rigger, but he’s also one hell of a photographer. Before we met him, I saw his photography and loved his eye, and I heard good things about him from both sides of the D/s gang: giggling blushing young women playfully competitively bragged about how much of his training they had been able to take, and other local dominant women and men had warm words for him as [read more...]

The Hand Orgy

 attention whore, BDSM, bondage, celebration, my lusts  3 Responses »
Jan 312012
 
The Hand Orgy

January 23 kicked off the Chinese New Year of the Dragon. I ran across this handy explanation: “Exciting, unpredictable, exhilarating and intense, according to the Chinese tradition, these are the characteristics of the Year of the Dragon. Be warned, following the Rabbit’s year of cautious optimism, the Dragon is renowned for its unbridled enthusiasm and has been known to throw caution to the wind! Now’s the time to make this your Year of Adventure!” Well, thank you – I think I will! Warning: the next picture is even more Not-Safe-For-Work (NSFW) than the first picture. I’m giving you space to look away, although I sincerely hope you don’t, because it’s good for me when you have sexy images of me stuck in your head. I [read more...]

Heartland Kink

 BDSM, boobs, My Life, pain, subbing, topping, toys  1 Response »
Dec 222011
 
Heartland Kink

This is a story of how to get involved in your local BDSM / kink community, as well as a little smut about my life. The short version: my husband got to consensually smack an adorable masochistic college student in her early 20s, and I got to grab her boobs, and it was awesome. The rest of this blog post is the long version. When we moved here in October, we knew the fastest way to find open-minded friends would probably be to involve ourselves with the kink / BDSM community. FetLife seemed a good place to start: a high concentration of people who won’t disapprove of my phone sex career, and FetLife is excellent at discovering community events. We went to a “munch” first, [read more...]

My First YouTube Video: First Thoughts on Control

 BDSM, control, my lusts, power, subbing, topping, values  No Responses »
Sep 082011
 

I just posted my first YouTube video! The title is “First Thoughts on Control – Recognizing Abuse and Encouraging Negotiation” and it’s aimed at people interested in control play in the bedroom. I do not think I have necessarily original thoughts on BDSM subjects, but I believe that every voice helps when it comes to encouraging safety and sanity, even in the context of for-pay BDSM over the phone. I have more a generic intro “Hello World” video that I should post first, but upon re-watching it, I need to add one significant thought to it before I post it, and I’ve already stalled on posting these long enough (I recorded it 10 days ago). So I pulled on my big girl panties and pretended [read more...]

In Celebration of the Male Submissive

 BDSM, celebration, honesty, subbing, topping  12 Responses »
Sep 012011
 
In Celebration of the Male Submissive

I have been reading a conversation on the web about male submissives, which almost led to a blog post title of “Heartbreak and the Male Submissive” but I decided, instead, to celebrate, in addition to empathizing. It started with @maymaym (the guy behind the visual-celebration-of-male-submission site: http://malesubmissionart.com/) posting a link to this incredibly well-written piece discussing how often members of the BDSM scene devalue male submissives, even while valuing female dominants: http://www.labcoatlingerie.com/2011/08/09/the-cost-of-devaluing-male-submission-one-token/ This particular conversation goes back further on the internet, but that’s where I joined it. Then tonight, maymay posted a related link, from KinkInExile, who had responded to Professor Chaos, with something equally well-written, about being a geek female dominant who breaks stereotypes and has a hard time finding a male submissive partner, [read more...]